Ah, so here is a reminder that you can look up people on the sex offender list. Here is the one for Michigan. It is easy to use... and you can see what the offense it and disregard the peeing in public ones... seriously - why is that on the list? I mean I guess there is the small part of the population ... I just figure...drunk. anyhow...
So, I figured out that a guy who is on the list was a chaperon on my kids field trip last month. More specifically he was Frog's chaperon. Now this guy has always skeeved me out and I have had negative interactions with him already. He volunteers for everything and hangs around the school and in the school all the time though - so I have been learning to deal with him. So I don't know if he was claiming to live somewhere else... but he just showed up on our list and wtf. He has a really good kid... a kid I am heart broken over, a kid that has been to our house for playdates and ... our kids to his. (I know... I know).
Now this happened years ago - but the guy was in his mid-thirties at the time so it wasn't some random 17 yr old boy 15 year old girl thing. But what do I do? I have told some parents who are also very involved with this family to check out the list... but I don't want his son ostracized. I think he is an ass for putting us in this position. I mean he has OFTEN come up to play with the kids on recces and brings his dog all the time to school (I know - alarm). He knows at least 1/2 the kids at this school by name. Is he a child molester? I don't know. AM I pissed he is on the list and is still hanging out at the school all the time? Hell yes. The ONLY reason he can do this is because he has a kid there. Now... chaperoning was illegal and so I am filing a complaint.
I mean this guy is a weirdo anyhow but would I have felt different if he has said at one of the gazillion parent volunteer meetings "hey... just in case you are scouting before trick-or-treating I want you to know you are going to see my big goofy ass grin on page 2 for a 2nd degree sexual assault... eh?" I don't know.
He has been in the halls and greeting Cricket ever day during his safety squad route for the last month apparently ( just learned this and one of the reasons I am super fired up). Cricket is one of a few 3rd graders who help walk some of the trickier kindergartners to their bus. So he is the hall alone for some time while he waits for his little guys to get released from class for the bus. And this jack ass has been coming over to chat with him during this. (yes I threw up a little when Cricket casually told me how nice Mr XXXX was and how "he comes and finds me everyday to say Hi".) So I had to have a horrible conversation with Cricket about how some people need to be avoided and we are worried he is one of them. So, yes... Cricket, who is normally very sensitive to his environment is super tweaked out and kind of a wreck. I am pissed that he put me in a positing to talk to my 9 year old about him. Pissed. Nothing compared to Chris though. Holy moly... He better hope not to run into my mild mannered husband. NOT so mild mannered right now.
His wife is a XXXer and obviously his enabler. I am pissed she put us in this position as well. Here's the thing though. There is always something. I am so hopeful and try to be full of wonder for the world... but I needed balance. Sadly I got some balance this week.
and yes, I am filing a complaint about the field trip and the school system finally knows. Since he wasn't registered in our town (even though he WAS living here) no one knew. UGH.
And he may not be a bad person, yes I know... I know. But here is the thing... I already had a twinge in my gut about him and you know what? I shook it off. shook. it. off.
Nothing has happened with my children, of that I am certain.. but I will be careful. They are precious to me.
So my not cheery message on this Halloween is - cherish your kids and watch out for them. You are their advocate... Even though I have done stranger danger and all that with my munchkins... oi. Need that balance... balance to let them find their own ways and balance to make sure they are safe. No... I don't think it is possible. I do think you have to just trust in the world sometime... and even after this horrible week I do trust. In my quiet panic to make sure my kids are safe this week many people have let me know in quiet and loud ways that they are part of the team and together we can provide our kids with the fun and trusting environment we crave. I have lost sleep this week and in the end I feel incredibly lucky to have the group of parents I have to raise my kids with.
This raising kids business is not for the faint of heart. I am so lucky I have people I can bounce ideas off and people I can say "Am I crazy... or not?" and they will lay it on the line.
and the school. I love their school. The community that comes with being a part of a good school... it is priceless.
I guess this started out as a bad post and by the end... I feel better. The cathartic process in action... Wha-BAM. I do feel like I have a bunch of people looking out for Cricket and Frog now. And I guess I always did, and I know I look out for the kids at their school too. I am fierce. maybe I should dress as a Mamma Bear today... heh. nah... I like Zombie.
One of the boys posse has a High Schooler for a brother and he is walking with us for Halloween. He is a football player and, well... lets just say he is committed to keeping the kids safe. Chris and I are going to walk around as well... but Brandon is excited to go as well and... it is little things like that that make me feel suddenly better about the world.
And yes, I would have rather not dealt with this at all this week... oh hell yes. But this is a big world and complicated... and I have crossed another parenting nightmare. Goofy and sweet and full of wonder kids intact. whew.
